On July 1st in the year of Our Lord two-thousand-and-seventeen, a deluge of biblical proportions swept away the bridge to our house.
You can watch G-d in action here: https://youtu.be/jY8Krw1y3hw
Yesterday, at 2:07 pm, the final two-foot carriage bolt was slammed into place, and our new bridge over Blood Brook was ready to welcome the UPS man.
If you wish to personally run your hands over the colossal concrete abutments and toss bitcoins off the side, you can make the schlep over.
Mark my words, the next time the monsoon comes, the safest place in Norwich will be standing on this bridge. My house will float into the Connecticut before this bridge even shudders.
Daniels Construction from Ascutney maneuvered the excavator like Rembrandt with his brush. Wright’s Sawmill in White River cut the 4-inch planks out of hemlock they source from Lord knows where. Fastenal in West Leb supplied the 6-inch screws at a price that will make you understand where half the $55,000 went.
If you’re thinking about mitigating your own diluvial disaster, the journey will take you through the Vermont Watersheds Management Division (River Program) … the Army Corps of Engineers … Vermont’s Division for Historic Preservation … Vermont’s Water Quality Division … and the people who look out for fish, birds and bears.
Don’t count on FEMA for anything.
And your insurance agent will laugh in your face if you ask about insuring your bridge.
The only real issue …
My wife.
She has done the calculus and is concerned that on those snowy days when she needs to get a running start from Dan & Whit’s … picks up speed barreling down Turnpike … and takes the turn over our new bridge, centripetal force will send her Prius airborne like Evil Knieval, and the little bumpers I designed will not be sufficient to stop her.
She wants netting AND the contraption that catches fighter jets landing on aircraft carriers.
I said drive slower.
She said something in Spanish I cannot repeat.